How to Be in a Polyamorous Relationship?

More and more people are abandoning monogamy in favor of polyamory – the practice of having sexual or romantic relationships with more than one person at the same time. A recent study found that just half of the young people under 30 seek a “completely monogamous” relationship, leaving the door open for more people to embrace polyamory. If you’re thinking of embarking on a polyamorous relationship, it’s important to do your research first. Whilst being able to date multiple people at the same time can be appealing, there are stumbling blocks to consider, such as jealousy. Read on to find out what is a polyamorous relationship, and what’s it like to be in a polyamorous relationship.

What Is a Polyamorous Relationship?

Many people are confused about polyamorous relationships, but the concept is actually pretty simple. To be polyamorous means to be sexually or romantically involved with more than one person simultaneously. Poly people can be straight, gay, or bisexual, and it’s possible for relationships to include groupings of people with different orientations. Whilst some polyamorous relationships have one relationship that is viewed as more important than the others, often they can be equal. Poly relationships often require rules and guidelines to be agreed on early on, with negotiation often the key to preventing anyone from getting hurt. The important thing to consider about polyamory is that although it allows anyone in the relationship to have sex with other people, it’s consensual and disclosed to everyone involved. In this way, it differs from infidelity or adultery. Polyamory is non-possessive and honest – things that monogamous relationships so often aren’t. Poly people can choose the number of partners they’re involved with, rather than simply accepting social customers and loving just one person.

What's it Like to Be in a Polyamorous Relationship?

Some people think that poly relationships are just about sex. However, that’s rarely the case. Polyamory is about emotional connection and developing loving relationships with multiple people. Trust, honesty, and communication are at the heart of polyamory, giving those involved some great tools for making sure the relationship works well. Most people who are in poly relationships are usually very honest about their feelings and sexual desires, reducing the likelihood of crossed wires and misunderstandings that often plague monogamous relationships. What’s more is that because poly couples often carry out regular assessments of their relationship and discuss their thoughts and feelings, problems can be tackled right away. For example, if someone thinks that the relationship is becoming boring, they can address this quickly and think of ways to spice things up. Problems are often left to fester in monogamous relationships, but this rarely happens in polyamory.Of course, when there are multiple partners in a relationship, things don’t always run smoothly. Most people agree that one of the biggest problems with polyamory is that at some point, jealousy will rear its head. It’s not uncommon for a primary partner to get hurt after their partner becomes emotionally attached to someone they were having sex with. They start to feel secondary, like they’re no longer as valuable to their partner. Jealousy is probably the most difficult hurdle to overcome in poly relationships.

How Long Do Polyamorous Relationships Last?

If you define a relationship that lasts as one in which couples get married, have kids, and stay together in an emotionally and sexually exclusive relationship until death do them part, then no, they don’t. Polyamory does not work this way, and that’s because those involved in and shape of the relationship shifts too often. Many people think that this is a negative of poly relationships.However, the truth is that most monogamous relationships don’t work in this way, either. That’s why divorce and infidelity rates are so high. Poly relationships work best when the needs of those involved are being met, with the relationship changing and adapting over time. Poly couples must be willing to address conflict quickly and deal with life transitions in a way that’s best for their families.

How Common Are Polyamorous Relationships?

Many people think that polyamorous relationships are pretty uncommon, but when you consider that as many as one in five Americans claim to have been romantically involved with more than one person, it’s clear that’s just not the case. A 2016 study revealed that 21% had a non-monogamous relationship, making polyamory a seemingly common choice. The truth is, it’s becoming much more talked about, with various celebrities opening up about their polyamorous relationships and open dating styles. YouTubers and social media influences like Bella Thorne and Tana Mongeau have come forward to talk about their preference for open dating, as well as actors Baron Vaughn and DeRay Davis. Even best-selling author Aubrey Marcus is getting in on the act. It certainly appears that traditional approaches to love and relationships are becoming less and less popular over time.

Can a Monogamous Person Date a Polyamorous Person?

You might be wondering can a monogamous person become polyamorous, and the answer might surprise you. Although you might not think that those who prefer to be monogamous would want to be with someone who’s poly, it’s becoming more and more common. For a monogamous person, dating a poly person can be challenging, especially if they want them all to themselves. However, someone who identifies as monogamous may be able to be happy in a poly relationship as long as communication is frequent and clear. Rules and guidelines definitely need to be drawn up early on to prevent arguments and misunderstandings. For example, the monogamous person might request that their poly partner only engages in emotional relationships but nothing physical. Although this is certainly possible, it can prove difficult for the poly partner who is required to suppress their natural sexual desires, which are often a part of who they are as a person.If you’re thinking of embarking on a polyamorous relationship, you need to take a good look at what it is you want first. You need to communicate with your partner about what’s going to make you happy long-term. If you decide that this type of non-monogamous relationship is for you, it makes sense to head online to find like-minded people in your area. Spend some time getting to know them before deciding if they could be a suitable match.